The Truth Behind Why She Talks About Other Guys With You

I've lost count of my Zoom calls with clients grappling with one particular problem. It's a scenario that plays out repeatedly: a promising date derailed by talk of other men, leaving my client feeling confused, insecure, and unsure of how to proceed.

One recent call stands out. My client, let's call him Jake, was visibly frustrated as he recounted his experience. "The date was going great," he explained. "Then, out of nowhere, she started talking about her ex. I froze. I had no idea how to respond when she talked about other guys."

That's exactly what we're going to tackle today. We'll dive deep into understanding why women bring up other men and, more importantly, how to respond in a way that showcases your value and confidence.

Why Does She Bring Up Other Guys?

Before we dive into the how, let's talk about the why.

Why do women bring up other men in conversation?

1. Seeking validation: Sometimes, it's a way to gauge your reaction and see if you're interested.
2. Testing your confidence: She might be checking if you're secure enough to handle a little competition.
3. Habit or obliviousness: Some people just talk without thinking about how it might affect others.
4. Creating jealousy: In some cases, it could be a deliberate attempt to make you jealous.

A lot of the time, women play games. But if you understand why they do it, you can respond from a place of knowledge rather than insecurity.

The Mindset of a High-Value Man

Now, let's talk mindset. When she mentions other guys, your internal reaction is just as important as your external one. Here's what you need to remember:

Ask yourself: "Am I the prize in this interaction, or am I treating her like she's the only option I have?"

A high-value man knows he's the prize. He doesn't get rattled when other men enter the conversation because he's secure in what he brings to the table.

Confidence is key. If you're constantly worrying about other guys, you're not focusing on being the best version of yourself. And trust me, that's what will make you stand out in the long run.

How To Handle The Situation

So, she's talking about other guys. What do you do? Here's what you should do:

1. Stay calm: Don't let your emotions show. It's not that big of a deal that she's talking about another guy hitting on you; don't overthink it.
2. Listen carefully: Pay attention to what she's saying and why she might be saying it.
3. Respond with humor: A little wit can go a long way in diffusing tension.
4. Change the subject gracefully: If needed, steer the conversation in a different direction.

Remember, how you respond when she talks about other guys says a lot about you. It's an opportunity to show your confidence and security.

Let's go over some of the most common situations you'll run into.

When She Talks About Guys Who Hit On Her

Acknowledge it casually.

"Oh yeah? What happened next?"

The more you show that you're not bothered by it, the better. If possible, find opportunities to add some humor to the conversation. If the other guy did terrible, you can "team up" with her and say, "Flirting isn't for everyone."

A fun way that I like to handle this is to compliment her judgment because, ultimately, she's there with you. This can look like:

"Well, he clearly has good taste. But I'm glad you're here with me instead."

The key is to show that you're not threatened. If anything, you're amused by the situation.

When She Talks About Her Ex

Ah, the ex-conversation. It's not fun at all, and if it's a first date, she's breaking some pretty big rules. Here's what to do if you're in that situation:

1. Listen a little bit without judgment: Everyone has a past. Let her share without feeling defensive. But don't be afraid to cut her off or change the topic if she goes on too long.
2. Don't badmouth the ex: It makes you look petty. Instead, focus on the present.
3. Share your own experiences if asked: Be honest but not overly detailed.

Remember, talking about exes can sometimes be a good sign. It means she's comfortable enough to share her past with you. Just make sure the conversation doesn't dwell there too long.

For more tips on navigating the early stages of dating, check out my First Date Masterclass. It's packed with strategies to make your dates memorable for all the right reasons.

When to Draw the Line

While it's important to be cool and collected, there's a limit to how much "other guy" talk you should tolerate. If she's constantly talking about other men, especially in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it might be time to address it directly.

Be honest about your feelings. You could say, "I appreciate your openness, but I'm uncomfortable with how often we discuss other guys." It's okay to set boundaries - in fact, it's healthy. Let her know what you will and won't accept in any relationship.

And here's the tough love part: know when to walk away. If she can't respect your feelings, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. Remember, setting boundaries isn't about being controlling; it's about self-respect and clear communication.

Wrapping It Up

Navigating dating these days can be tough, but with the right mindset and tools, you can handle any situation gracefully and confidently. Remember, how you respond when she talks about other guys reflects your self-assurance and value.

Stay cool, stay confident, and, most importantly, stay true to yourself. With practice, these situations will become less of a challenge and more of an opportunity to showcase your best self.