7 First Date Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore

Have you ever been on a first date and thought to yourself:

What the hell did I just get myself into?

I know I have. One minute, you're swiping right on a hot girl on Hinge; the next, you're sitting across from them, wondering if you should just walk out when she goes to the bathroom.

But don't worry; I'm here to give you some tips to spot these red flags before you decide to meet her or even go on a date. At the end of the day, men need to have standards, too.

Let's dive into the eight red flags you shouldn't ignore, no matter how good she looks in that profile picture.

1. The Phone Addict

Picture this: You're trying to tell her about a time you single-handedly saved your company's network from a hacker at work (okay, maybe you just restarted a few servers, but it sounds cooler), and she's more interested in her Instagram feed. If her phone is getting more action than your conversation, there's a problem.

Look, we all check our phones, but if she can't put it down for an hour to focus on you, she's either uninterested or has a goldfish's attention span.

You can try saying something like:

"It's gonna be hard for us to flirt if you're always on your phone. Could you put your phone away?"

If she's receptive, then great! If not, it's not looking great for future dates.

2. The Service Staff Terrorist

There's a saying that I've heard often:

"You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat the waiter."

It's too damn true. If she's treating the staff like they're beneath her, make your way to the nearest exit because it won't be long before she tries to do the same to you.

Just imagine what she would be like if you forgot to put the toilet seat down. No thanks.

3. Hung Up On Her Ex

While it's normal for past relationships to come up in conversation, excessive talk about exes is problematic. It could mean she's not over her past relationship, she's comparing you to her ex, or she has unresolved issues that she hasn't dealt with. And trust me, you don't want to be stuck being compared to someone who's known her for a really long time.

When you're in this situation, try to redirect the conversation to something more fun & flirty. As the man, you set the tone for how the conversation goes.

But if she can't stop talking about her ex, it's probably best to end the date early.

4. Excessive Drinking

Now I know how easy it is to knock back a few drinks when you're really vibing with someone. But in my experience, you can tell when it's going from "This is fun" to "damn, she has a problem."

Her drinking so heavily could indicate poor judgment, the potential of being an alcoholic, or an inability to handle social situations without alcohol in general. Not to mention, it's not pretty when someone gets sloppy.

My suggestion is to always end the date or move to another location (your house, maybe) after two drinks. If she insists on staying and drinking more, don't be afraid to end the date. It's not the end of the world.

5. Avoids Direct Questions

You: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Her: "Oh, you know, this and that. Hey, did you see that new Marvel movie?"

If getting a straight answer out of her is harder than solving a Rubik's Cube blindfolded, something's up. She could withhold all sorts of basic information like her job, living situation, relationship status and more. 

While everyone has a right to privacy, if she just consistently dodges questions over and over again, keep your guard up.

You can try addressing it gently with something like:

"I feel like you get a little shy when you talk about work. Is there a reason for that?"

Give her a chance to open up and go from there.

6. Pressures You To Commit Quickly

If she's talking about serious commitment, future plans, or trying to define the relationship on the first date, it's a red flag. This behavior often stems from insecurity or a desire for control. Healthy relationships develop at a natural pace, and pushing for commitment too quickly can lead to an unhealthy relationships.

Here's an example from a client that I helped with this exact situation:

The important part here is that we defined our boundary, and we stuck to it. Move at your speed, not hers.

7. Complete Lack of Curiosity About You

This last one is honestly the most important. Many guys forget this, and it affects their sense of self-worth.

A good date involves giving and taking in conversation. If she shows no interest in learning about you, constantly redirects the conversation to herself, or doesn't engage when you share something, it's a red flag. If this happens, you should address it early with something like:

"I've noticed our conversation has been mostly one-sided. I'm interested in getting to know you, but I also want to feel heard. Do you have any questions for me?"

 If she continues to act this way, just end the date.

Wrapping It Up

Remember guys, noticing these red flags doesn't always mean you need to immediately end the date or cut off contact. Sometimes, addressing the issue directly can lead to positive change or at least give you more insight into the person.

However, if these behaviors persist or make you uncomfortable, it's always okay to prioritize your own well-being and move on.

Trust your instincts, and don't settle for less than you deserve in a potential partner.